How to Be An Artist!

It’s been a busy time for everyone. There is a collective desire to move the needle forward in our lives for a better life than the one we’re living. Pressure is increasing. The strength required when you are growing into new skills is nothing short of stressful.

The last time I went through challenging a period was when I was trying to figure out HOW to be an Artist. You see, I wasn’t practicing. I wasn’t singing. I wasn’t studying anything in my chosen profession because I was working so hard to survive in New York City. But enough was enough. I had finally gotten sick and tired of lying to myself. How could I say I was a singer if I wasn’t even singing?! It wasn’t for lack of trying. I spent countless hours sitting at the piano “trying” to practice. Fifteen minutes into light vocalizations my self-criticism would overwhelm me. I’d choke up with tears and stop. If I called my mother trying to find solace in the internal struggle, it was frustrating on both our parts. My mother could see I was struggling but she also couldn’t understand what the real problem was. I was struggling to communicate what I needed because I didn’t know what I needed. But I was needy. The problem was, I didn’t believe in myself. It got lost in my education journey which added to my confusion as an Artist. I understood a lot about singing, but I could not execute on that understanding to save my life. It was a struggle to make space for something new when I felt like all areas of my life were on fire. Chaos and anxiety were my bedfellows. Every choice I made seemed to make my life spiral more and more out of control. I wanted to do better but I was…

• Drowning in self-doubt

• Stressed out from not having enough money

• Exhausted from bartending into the wee hours of the morning

I spent time with people that complained about life. We shared the same struggle as artists. We would drink our sorrows away, stumble home, sleep late, then rise, rinse, and repeat. I didn’t go out to party; I worked the parties. Time passed like a blur until a dear friend shared with me a quote that rung like a death knell in my soul.

This quote amplified what I knew to be true but wasn’t willing to admit. I was walking with people that reflected a version of myself I was not proud of. I was needy and wanted someone to come fix my issues for me. No one was going to come and save me from my life choices but ME. If I wanted to a be a Performing Artist I needed to make some major changes. I started my transformation journey with…

1. One-on-One Talk Therapy

2. Momentum Education’s transformational programs

3. Daily Meditation using Insight Timer

4. Exercise; Yoga, Running, & Jumping Rope.

5. Daily Gratitude Practices

6. Reading Pema Chödrön’s book “Start Where You Are” and countless other books on self development

7. Volunteering

8. At Home Spa Days

9. Healthy Home Cooked Meals

10. Releasing limiting beliefs - Building new supportive beliefs

11. Studying with a knowledgeable voice teacher

I had to create practices of self-care in to heal the wounded and broken parts of me. I had to develop a routine that treated me better than anyone had ever treated me. I cannot create from a space of lack. My cup was empty. I spent so much time giving my energy to everyone else that there was nothing left for me. Feelings of lack inspired desperate decision making and seek validation from outside resources. For me, creativity IS an abundant resource only when I nourish and support my own needs. I heard Oprah call it her Spiritual Practice and I immediately adopted the idea. She would ask people,

“What is Your Spiritual Practice?”

People responded in a variety of ways; revealing their religious choices or lack there of. Others descended into a tearful acknowledgment that they aren't taking care of themselves. Oprah wasn’t asking about religion or why a person doesn’t take care of themselves. She was asking,

What is(are) the thing(s) you consistently do to take care of yourself?

Some things are routine for us because our families and society trained us to be and act a certain way. For example, most people in the United States can agree that it's best to brush your teeth before we leave home. The intention is so not to offend others with foul breath and to have healthy gums and clean teeth. The act of brushing teeth is so ingrained in us that one may feel weird to leave your house without brushing. It’s a practiced routine that defines who we are. Imagine if you skip a day of exercise, or skip a healthy meal, or even fail to show up to practice your artistic pursuits? Do you have the same weird feeling when you fail to show up for that routine? Some habits would have to be so embedded in order to feel awkward when you skip it. That means that your habits and routines define the kind of person you are.

What do you do when your life doesn’t look the way you want it?

What do you do when you know you're depressed and feeling lost, out of sorts and anxious all the time? Not everyone enjoys looking at what is not working in their life. (Hello Denial, nice to meet you!) It is easier to distract myself with mindless scrolling through Instagram. It’s comforting to order a medium Domino’s pizza and a side of cinnamon sticks. It’s easier to lie in my warm bed and sleep in rather than get up to exercise. But what do you have after two, five, or ten years of that comforting routine? Changing who you are requires a fundamental shift in what you choose to commit to each day. It means looking at what’s not working, choosing a new routine, to be the person you wish to become.

I find it helpful to imagine myself ten years into the future. I imagine my life reflects everything I desire it to be. Then I ask, “what is that future version of myself doing to have the life she is currently enjoying?” Then work backwards. Who would you have to be right now to evolve into your future self? What routines and habits is your future self doing that you can begin to apply to your life right now? What is an easy way to begin this new habit a little bit everyday?

Be, Do, Have.

I remember first hearing this concept in Momentum Education. I recall drawing a blank when asked, “Who do you have to BE, to DO what needs to get done, so that you can HAVE what you want?

• Who must I Be?

• What must I DO?

• So that I can HAVE…?

I didn't know who I wanted to be at the time. All I knew is that my life and my relationships were all chaotic and I needed to do SOMETHING to make a change. “Be, Do, Have” inspired me be creative about making a change. At the time, all I wanted was to get back to singing. I needed to figure out how to tip my toes back into singing and performing. That’s when I stumbled across The Opera Collective. It was the healing salve I needed to find my way back to my creativity. At the time, I didn't believe I was a very good singer. I didn’t believe I had a voice worthy of sharing with the world. The Opera Collective was a safe space for singers to come as they are. As long as you had a desire to perform and had basic skill as a singer, you were free to join. We performed in the subway systems of NYC and I loved it from day one. It was a gift to ease into singing, performing, earning income from busking, and building a new belief in my ability as a singer. I found myself practicing more and feeling less and less overwhelmed. I didn't care that I sang Mozart like it was a jazz standard. I stopped caring about the rules and structures of classical music. I worked to silence the negative feedback loop from old voice teachers. I started singing from my heart. I gave myself permission to "play" with my voice in real time. I created a routine of performing. If someone asked me if I’m a singer, I could honesty say, “Yes!” It wasn’t exactly singing on the Metropolitan Opera stage but at least I could say, “I am a performing artist. I am an opera singer.”

Every single performance built up my belief as a singer. Each performance in New York's subways helped me release the limiting belief that "I am not good enough". On the days when I felt my worst as a singer, I always experienced an audience member express how much I moved them. I learned that my gift of singing is not about me but about serving people. I could immediately see the impact my actions were having on people. It gave me purpose.

Cleaning up the rest of my life took time. I was more focused because I did not want to live a life of lack. I built a spiritual practice that helped me to refill my creative cup every day. I moved away from people and environments that perpetuated my old habits. Step by step I moved closer to people and places that were living a life I desired to live. I surrounded myself with focused and creative Artists to inspire my own becoming. It was time spent laying a new foundation for a new version of myself to thrive. It wasn't easy and not all aspects of my old life were bad. The truth is I wanted to be a different person and that required change. Change is uncomfortable, pressurizing, and stressful. It’s meant to be uncomfortable so that you can grow. Pressure makes diamonds. Lean into the discomfort. Use it as a tool to inspire your growth. When the stress comes, use your spiritual practice to keep you strong. If your spiritual practice isn’t easing the discomfort you feel, do it more often until you do. You need more practices of your own loving care to help you ride the waves of discomfort as you grow.

The problem that overwhelms us IS the very challenge that inspires you to overcome. If want to have a different experience, you must

• Be a different person

• Do different things

• Have a different outcome

The roadblock in your progress may be the inspiration for a new a solution. The impediment inspires growth and change. When we overcome what once disabled us, we transform. You are no longer the same person. You are stronger because you had an experience that proved you can succeed in the face of opposition. There is no greater feeling than learning to master Trusting Yourself.

One final thing; it took me at least seven years to transform from a needy insecure artist to a secure Artist. Trust takes time to build, especially when it comes to trusting ourselves to show up for our own becoming. If you're serious about making a change, consider this exercise. Ask yourself, "What do I want to change about my life?" or "Wouldn't it be cool if..." On a fresh sheet of paper (yes, 🙄 an analog system!) Give your mind permission to brain dump all the answers that come to mind. Set set a timer for 5 or 10 mins and let your mind have a field day.

Write down your stressors, your insecurities, and your desires. Reflect on what your mind throws up on the page. Afterwards, organize the thoughts in order of priority. Start with the desire at the top of that list. Do not move on to other items on the list until you have mastered or completed the first desire. Begin to envision the end goal and then work backwards. What would need to change in your day to day life to reach the desired goal? What is one small step you can take to make your dream a reality today? Make it easy. Choose a new habit that can be easily accomplished every day. Define when and where you will do that new habit. Schedule it in your calendar. Give it value. Make it real. The idea is to build a new belief in yourself. Build a new routine. Build a new version of you a little bit every day. When you're ready to give that new routine a little more of your time each day, it's because you enjoy it. Not something you HAVE to do, but something you GET to do. Over time, that new small habit will have major impact and even transform you into a new version of you.

Slow and steady wins the race. Your creativity matters. You are enough to overcome the challenges ahead. When you feel down, lean on your tribe to remind you of how awesome you are. if you don’t have a tribe yet, take heart. I’m writing this letter because I believe in you. I know you can thrive. You got this!

Sending you so much love!

Cheers! 💛